Tuesday, April 19, 2011

When did I become the village idiot?

This one is a couple of years old... also from the myspace blog days.

I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but when did I become the village idiot a.k.a. Mom?  I think the thing that amazes me the most about raising kids is how fast you go from being the “go to gal” for any and all information to “THAT lady” standing in the kitchen looking confused. I used to think myself a very capable woman and now I wonder how I get to work most days.

Let me explain.  Last night I was rushing around trying to get everyone ready for the prospective trips. My husband is heading to Nashville, TN this next week and my three oldest children are going on a mission trip in Birmingham, AL. Now granted, they are all old enough to pack for themselves but somehow, as moms, we still feel responsible for everyone having a toothbrush and clean underwear.  While I understand why I am that way about my children, I don’t yet understand how it transferred to my husband but there ya go.  I had spent the day cleaning, ironing, folding underwear, handing out tiny shampoo bottles, handing out money for the trips and making sure everyone had the clothes washed that they wanted washed. Around midnight I wander past the computer and want to know who my son is chatting with.  He quickly closes the window but not before I catch a glimpse of a phone number. Now you have to understand my position on children and privacy.  If you want privacy, you have to get a job and move out. None of my children have wanted their privacy bad enough to do that so… they put up with mom being nosey.  And boy am I. I’ve probably watched one or ten too many episodes of “To catch a predator” and “Forensic Files”. Anyway, back to the story.

I told him to open the chat window, instead, he hovers over it for just a moment and then clicks on the x.  I was stunned. My kids RARELY openly defy me and I am sure that either this child has a brain tumor or he has forgotten WHERE HE LIVES!!!!  So…. I’m trying to maintain and not snatch him and I quietly tell him to sign off the computer and “Come go with me.” My kids know this means we are about to have what my husband calls “A come to Jesus” meeting.  And just so you know, that’s bad.

We sit down on the couch and I take a really deep breath.

I ask the obvious. “ So, why did you do that?”
Blank stare.
“I don’t know.”
“Well when you do know, you can get back on the computer.”
Lip quivers
I know that he’s been talking to a cute girl from school and I’m a little aggravated because I don’t tease him about his girlfriends. That’s dad’s job.  So WHY?

Come to find out… his grandmother had given him and his brother a prepaid cell phone for emergency use only. My theory is that she is determined to undermine my authority because I have a strict rule about no cell phones before fourteen. (I actually wanted sixteen but the hubby over ruled me). I think it’s ridiculous to see six year old children (or 12 year olds) that are never out of sight of their parents with iphones.  It’s a different story if they go home alone after school or something like that but mine don’t. But that’s just my opinion. They don’t go anywhere that they will be out of contact with an adult and when they are, I provide a phone. Past that, they don’t need one.  Anyway, come to find out, the reason he had closed the window, he had been giving said cute girl his number so that she could text him or call him.  

Of course, me being stupid, I’m wondering how he plans to explain to me OR his grandmother for that matter that he doesn’t have any minutes on his phone. He has no means by which to purchase more. And here is the kicker, he claims to have told her that it wouldn’t do any good to give her the number because clearly THAT phone is for emergency use only but what the heck… he gave it to her anyway. Yeah BUDDY.

Exactly how stupid do I need to be to raise teenagers? Can someone give me an IQ number? Something. Because I’m thinking either he is the worlds WORST liar EVER OR he’s got to think it doesn’t have to be much to fool me because I’m an idiot.

Either way… I should have come down on him harder but it was late and I was tired. I figured going to bed and leaving that cute little girl to wonder where on earth he went was punishment enough.

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